Tag Archive | Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day

I know it’s late in the day and some of you are already resting your sleepy heads and saying hello to Monday, but I want to wish all of you a Happy Mother’s Day.

Whether you are a new mom, a mom-to-be, a mom in mourning, or a mom in waiting, you deserve to be recognized this day. There is an article I recently read (provided by my good friend and fellow infertile Lillian) about hating Mother’s Day.  About how it is insulting to non-mothers, daughters who have lost mothers, and mothers who have lost children. I understand that sentiment, but I also have this to say: I don’t care where you are at on your journey to or through motherhood, you are still a mother.  If you have fought for your children, you are a mother. If you have loved your children before they ever existed, you are a mother. If you have given your bank account, your sanity, your heart, your dignity, and your right hand trying to become a mother, then you are a mother. Maybe the general public does not recognize this, but I do. And I think most everyone else in this community does as well.

And for those of you still in the trenches, I want to add this: I know this day is hard. So hard. It can be a constant reminder of what you don’t have, or have lost. Today, I have thought so constantly of all of you. It is unimaginable to me that, last year on this day, I was just three weeks into grieving our Teddy Graham. And now, one year later, I am nearly halfway through my subsequent pregnancy. My point is this: you never can know what life has in store for you. You can’t know what surprises will come your way, what hairpin turns your path will take, what dreams will unfold or when.

And so on this day, more than wishing you a happy Mother’s Day (though I wish that for you as well, so deeply), I wish you comfort, peace, and a hopeful heart. May this time next year show you, or give you, the true meaning of happiness, if you have not found it already.

Mother of Two

Mother’s Day. Should today feel so hard? In recent days, people have chided me for regarding the day as bittersweet, for saying I don’t feel like celebrating, for wanting today to be just any other day. They say I should relish the time that I have with my daughter. Appreciate what I’ve got.

And I do! Please know that I do. There’s not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for my Cupcake, the girl who calls me “mom” instead of “mama” and asks for a kiss between each bite at mealtime. I love her and, if anything, I love her more now than I did three weeks and three days ago, before the bleeding and the heartbreak began. I love her.

But today, my husband took my hand and said “Thank you for being the mother of our children” and I cried because he spoke the truth. Children. I am the mother of two babies and one of them is dead and what is there to celebrate in that? It is my first Mother’s Day without my tiny Teddy Graham and, while Cupcake makes it very sweet, this truth can make it seem very bitter: it is my first holiday without him and, sadly, I never had a first Mother’s Day with him. And I never will.