Yesterday, at exactly 19 weeks, I had to make an unexpected trip to my OB’s office, because I was leaking something from somewhere up in my lady parts.
It started in the morning and happened three times throughout the day, when I would stand up from sitting or when I would sneeze. It was not a gush of liquid, but not a drop either. More like a trickle unlike anything I had felt before, leaving me with a wet spot on my panties and a little unease in the pit of my stomach. Honestly, I believed that it was probably urine, because that’s kind of what it felt like to me, but it was so out-of-the-ordinary that I began to worry.
I worried, I googled, I worried some more. In another lifetime, I probably would have concluded that I was overreacting and then go about my day, still worrying but not wanting to bother anyone with my silly fears. I still do that in many areas of my life, but I am not willing to take any risks with this pregnancy or Skittle’s well-being. So I decided there was no harm in calling to talk to a nurse about my leak. I was nervous and anxious and felt unsettled, but believed everything would be fine. Until I described to the nurse what I felt and she said, “Can you come in right away? Just drop whatever you’re doing and come right now.”
That’s when my stomach dropped, my heart clenched, and I felt a fear deeper than anything I’ve felt since my last pregnancy, when I saw blood. It took 30 minutes in rush hour traffic to get to my doctor’s office, and the whole way there, as my daughter sang “Baa Baa Black Sheep” in the backseat, I said one simple prayer over and over: Please don’t let this be amniotic fluid, God. Please let our baby be okay.
And in the end, everything is. When I arrived, I peed in a cup, they weighed me and took my blood pressure (which was unsurprisingly high), and then I was led back to a room, where they did a cervical and fluid check. My cervix is closed. I have a ton of cervical mucus (which was sent to lab to check for infections, but all tests have come back negative). The strip that they use to test for amniotic fluid in the vaginal canal did not turn blue — which is exactly what we wanted. Skittle’s heartbeat was good and, though I couldn’t feel it, we could hear him/her moving around. The Nurse Practitioner thinks my leak was probably excess CM, but I still think I peed myself a little. And I could be embarrassed about that, but I’m not. I’m just proud that I took immediate action and put this baby before everything and everyone else.
I left the office feeling an immense sense of relief and gratitude. Skittle is okay. Thank God Skittle is okay. After a few minutes, I started to worry again. The amniotic fluid test is not foolproof. They could be wrong. But as my mom reminded me, I just need to have faith and trust my medical professionals. Everything has checked out. There is no indication that our baby is in danger. Pregnant women leak fluids all the time. We’re fine. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and Skittle and I are fine. Big. Deep. Breath.
Today is a better day. I’ve felt the baby move some and haven’t felt any leakage. I’m breathing easier now.
And hopefully I will for a good long time.