All is Well in the Dash Home

This morning, as I drove to the fertility clinic, I somehow convinced myself that Skittle was probably dead. I had not felt any pregnancy symptoms for the day yet and there was dread in the pit of my stomach. As I waited for my favorite sonographer (yay!) to come into the room, I felt sick. And no, I don’t think it was morning sickness. I’m fairly certain it was nerves. I was scared to death, perhaps more than I’d ever been so far. Which is saying something. I just knew they were going to tell me my baby was gone.

Thankfully, I was wrong. Completely. There was a heartbeat — a strong, beautiful heartbeat — with a heart rate of 153. Over 120 is normal at 7 weeks, but according to my sources on Google Scholar, 146+ is ideal. So I’m very pleased with 153. Today I am 7w1d and Skittle is now measuring 7w5d, which is a relief. We have officially passed the point where we lost Teddy Graham, which is one more small step forward. I am beginning to think maybe, just maybe, this baby will actually come to be. I know there is still so far yet to go, and anything can happen at any time, but for now we are planning on an early October due date.

Holy crap.

I return next Friday for one last ultrasound (my request, not their suggestion) before “graduation.” My RE has been urging me to make an appointment with my OB, so I finally bit the bullet and did that today after my successful u/s. I will be seeing him for the first time on March 5, when I will be almost 10 weeks.

If next week’s u/s is as successful as this one, I have three goals:

  • Start shopping for an at-home doppler in the hopes that it may help my sanity in between the monthly OB appointments.
  • Deliver the news to my sister. You all know there will be a post to come about that!
  • Make a “Skittle” page on this blog, where I will post the photos I’m collecting. And maybe start bumpdates. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

None of this feels quite real yet. Especially because Skittle seems to have come out of nowhere, when I least expected it. But every day, I fall in love with this baby, and the idea of this baby, a little more. And if next week’s u/s doesn’t go well? I do think that will be the end of the world.

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22 thoughts on “All is Well in the Dash Home

  1. Congratulations Cassie! This is really wonderful news! To be honest, I had no doubt it would be good news. I know there was a chance and I understand your fear given that was when you lost Teddy, but I have confidence that you will hold this baby in your arms and raise him or her through all the awkward and parent-hating years and then he/she will come to think of you as a close ally and confidant, and eventually he or she will be the one looking after you 🙂

  2. Get the Angel Sounds Doppler off of Amazon- its inexpensive and I was able to pick up a heartbeat at 10 weeks (though it does warn it can feasibly take much longer). It was a great anxiety reliever until they started to move regularly.
    Can’t wait to see the skittle page – and am for sure interested to hear how the announcement to your sister goes!

  3. Fantastic news! I knew Skittle would be A-OK. I can’t recommend the doppler enough. It has kept me off the edge countless times. I borrowed mine from a reader. Perhaps a reader will offer to loan you hers?

  4. I think my last comment was just eaten by the WordPress login procedure … aaghh! But it was all about how very happy I am that you had an amazing measurement with an amazing heartbeat, and especially that you’ve passed that very difficult milestone. Relish that as much as you can! Thinking of you as you await the next check-up which I have every faith will bring more good news.

  5. Sorry this is such a late comment, but I have not been home all weekend. I was SO relieved to hear that everything went well at your ultrasound! I am very excited for you!! 🙂 YAY!!!!

  6. I’m so happy for you that you had a great appointment! Can’t wait to hear how it goes when you tell your sister the news. I really hope she has the appropriate response for once. *hugs*

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