I just returned from my CD13 ultrasound…crying. It actually went well, but I’m a bit of an emotional mess right now and it doesn’t take much to set me off.
The good news is that things are progressing. I’m not ready to trigger yet, but it appears like my body is responding to the high dose of Clomid. On Righty, the largest follicle is 10.3mm. On Lefty (which always likes to hide and required some painful digging to find it today), the largest is 12.5. In comparison, on CD12 last cycle, the largest follicles were 8-9mm, so I was happy with 12.5. My lining was 9.3mm, which is okay I guess? The tech said it was good. Not quite the 11.5 from last month, but that was on CD16, so it still has a little time to grow some more.
The bad news is that I have to return for another u/s, and I have to do it on Saturday at 8:45 a.m. because that’s the only slot they have available all day. I don’t even think I’m going to be ready then, but that’s not even the problem. What is the problem? I’m supposed to pick up my dad at the airport at 8 a.m. and, immediately following, I am to have breakfast with my aunt, uncle, and several cousins. This aunt is one I see about once a year because she is a missionary in Thailand and only makes it back to the States very occasionally. My cousins I see about as often because they’re scattered across the U.S., going to school, working, and whatnot. And now? I might not get to see them at all. Which is what started the weeping in the middle of the fertility clinic. The front desk staff looked on as I sobbed on the phone to my mom. It wasn’t pretty.
I’m just so sick of all of this. Once again, infertility has found a way to wreak havoc on my life. And I know I just need to accept this. Get over it, right? We all have to sacrifice something in order to achieve our dreams, but right now… Well, right now I just want to feel sorry for myself.