Cycle Update

Well, friends, I am trying hard to catch up on my blog-reading and commenting, but it hasn’t been easy. I am still waaaay behind, so if you haven’t heard from me, that could be why. It could also be that, in an effort to get caught up as quickly as possible, I have contained my commenting to everyone’s most recent and/or crucial posts. Please forgive my laziness and please know that, while I may not be commenting on every post, I am indeed reading every one.

And while I still plan to tell all of you about my fabulous (albeit, chilly) trip to London, today I thought I’d give you a cycle update. Not that there is actually much to tell. It’s CD18 and I don’t think I have ovulated yet. Just three or four days ago, I started to feel the achy tenderness of swollen ovaries and also began to see some egg-white CM. This usually means that ovulation is just around the corner. Except my OPKs are being a little funny. While in London, they started getting darker. In fact, one day (on CD11) the test line was about the same darkness that I usually see a day or two before getting a positive. But I never got a positive and, since returning home, they have gone back to being utterly negative. As in, there is only but the ghost of a test line, which I don’t often see but very early or very late in my cycle. Hmmmm….

Also, my temp has been up (above 98.0) for the last four days, which is rather peculiar. Generally, that means I ovulated. Except, I really don’t think I have yet. I’m not 100% positive that’s the case — more like 90% sure. Which is still fairly certain. So that means my BBT is all kinds of screwed up once again. I’m guessing this is the result of the time change between London and and the west coast. Perhaps, when I take my temp each morning around 5 a.m., my body actually thinks I’ve slept in until 1 p.m.? In which case, an increase of temperature makes sense. It’s either that or this dang cold that apparently hitched a ride on the plane with me. I would actually be inclined to think it’s the cold, except when I took my temp at 4 p.m. a couple days ago to see if I was running a fever, it was only 97.33, much lower than when I took it that morning.

So in conclusion, I don’t really know anything. I may or may not have ovulated. I may or may not be ovulating at some point in the near future. All I can do now is wait and see. And we really shall see, won’t we?

But speaking of my cold…it has really knocked me off my feet and totally annoyed me by coming at this point in my cycle. I’m afraid to take anything for it because I don’t want to inadvertently dry up any cervical mucus that’s hanging around. And my libido is next to none because I feel like crap. I can’t breathe. I can’t taste anything. My back hurts. I feel nauseous off and on all day long. My sinuses burn and ache. I’m tired. And the very worst part, I have a horrible headache that I can find absolutely no relief from. All of this makes me fret that, even if I do ovulate, my body is working too hard to fight this that no fertilized egg would even have a chance of sticking, but maybe that’s just me worrying over stupid things like usual. And a small part of me doesn’t even care whether I ovulate or conceive this month, because my most immediate concern is just getting over this cold. Right in this very moment, I want nothing more than to feel better. And to sleep until I do.

And in other news:

  • My day 3 estradiol results came back while I was in London. 27.3. However, I have no idea what this means. According to the reference range for my lab, normal during the follicular phase is 50-220. However, other places I have read say it should be 25-75 on day 3. So I’m confused. Maybe my results are good, maybe not. I do know, though, that values on the low end of things often respond better to stimulation from meds, so I guess I can at least be thankful for that. And thankful, as well, that my first RE appointment is in just two weeks and she will be able to make sense of everything for me (I hope).
  • I heard from my cousin,who I will call Jae from here on out, this morning and she is expecting. Of course. There is always a pregnancy announcement when I least expect it. And while every new pregnancy is a blow to my ego and a punch to my heart, this one has been much easier to take than my sister’s announcement a couple months ago. For one thing, Jae was kind enough to tell me by e-mail even though she knows nothing of our struggle to conceive baby #2 (though everything of our struggle to conceive #1).  For another, unlike my sister who conceived just 9 months post-wedding, my cousin celebrated her fifth wedding anniversary in August. It’s time. And, quite frankly, I just feel so much more affection for Jae than I do for my sis (which, I am certain, makes me a horrible sister and a fabulous cousin). We have a history together. She was the closest thing that I had to a sister during my childhood and she was a bridesmaid in our wedding. And though we have since grown apart, I just respect and love her so much. She is truly one of the nicest people I know and she hasn’t always had it easy (not a lot of money growing up, parents who divorced when she was young, a dad who died when she was 16, and a bipolar mom) and, really, I want nothing more than for her to be happy. She deserves this baby (and yes, I know my sister does too, as does any woman who wants to be a mom, but I’m still having a hard time embracing my niece/nephew-to-be). She is due just two to three weeks after my sis. Oh boy.

So that’s my update for now. Much longer than I intended, especially considering that my head is pounding and I want nothing more than to eat some chicken soup and go to bed. But my Honey is home from work now, so I can go off duty, and hopefully do just that.

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