Remembering

I’m back! And while I will happily post about our trip abroad very soon, today my post is about something else. It’s October 15th. It’s Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. And coincidentally, later this week will also mark six months since my miscarriage. Six months since I had to say good-bye to a baby who was so very much wanted.

And so, today, I remember.

I remember my Teddy Graham, the Baby Who Almost Was. I remember the day I learned he existed, the elation I felt, the rainbow I saw that evening. I remember spending the Easter holiday with him in my belly, already imagining the next Easter when he would be in my arms. I remember never having been happier. And I remember the day when it all ended, when my world stopped turning as I learned my baby’s heart had stopped beating…or perhaps it just had never begun. I remember, and it hurt and it heals at the same time.

My precious baby,

I miss you. Every piece of me misses you. Time has not changed that, and I don’t imagine anything else ever will. There is someone missing in our home. It’s you, and I think there will always be an incompleteness without you here. But I hold you in my heart, I love you still, and you will never be forgotten. Be well, my sweet child, until we meet again.

Love,

your mama

And today, I also remember all of you and your babies who left too soon. I want to gently remind all of you that your pain and loss is only so great because your love for your child was so extraordinary. You gave your child all the love that s/he deserved for all the days of his/her life, even though those days were so short. Each and every one of you are strong women to endure such loss and, through you, your babies need not ever be forgotten. XO

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