I have a problem.

It’s not the “OMG! I’m still not ovulating!” sort of problem. (And please do know — I don’t actually ever say “OMG.”) But it’s more like the “Hi, I’m Cassie and I’m an addict.” sort of problem.

And my addiction is charting. As in, charting my BBT.

I religiously chart my temp every morning. At the same exact time: 5:30 a.m., even on the weekends. I wake up on my own usually about five minutes before I take my temp and lay perfectly still so as not to inadvertently alter my BBT with any movement and, in the days after ovulation, this five minutes is spent with my heart pounding out of my chest and into my ears and throat because I’m so freaking scared that my temp won’t be as high as it should be. And on Sunday, after temping, I was seriously so sure I was going to vomit because of that beating heart and frazzled nerves.

I know I’m nuts. This is not something I can control. So I should not worry about it. But I want that thermal shift so much. I want it to stay and stay and stay and never go away (at least for nine-and-a-half months). And so I obsess. I cannot help myself.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that I do believe we can now officially declare Outcome 1 out of  the running. I have had a beautiful thermal shift ever since getting my positive OPK on Saturday and I lovingly admire my chart every day. For so many months in TTC-land, I never got a thermal shift and now that I do see one, I want to kiss it. Truly. (I’m crazy, I tell you. CRAZY!)

There are a few things that are bugging me in small ways, though:

  • My BBT since ovulation (four days ago) has not had a dip. This sounds like a good thing, but I had a dip in both of my pregnancies in the first four days. After my research about BBTs, I learned that this was probably an estrogen surge. I really, really doubt it was an early pregnancy sign (probably just a coincidence), but it’s the only pattern I know to be true for me so far.
  • The OPKs are back to negative, but that second line is taking its sweet time in disappearing completely. I do hope this is not a sign that my hormones are all wonky.
  • I’ve had a lot of extra CM the last couple days, but I think it has transformed into the sticky kind…not the “hey, you’re pregnant!” creamy kind. But I don’t know if sticky vs. creamy really matters this early on and, to be honest, I’ve never even been very good at telling the difference between the two. Mine almost always seems to be somewhere in between.

So while I’m trying to stay optimistic, I am honestly not putting a lot of stock in this cycle. It’s just not feeling like “the one.” Is that crazy, at 4dpo? Because really, how the hell do I know? I don’t. My past history has shown that, at times like these, my intuition is faulty at best. So it’s all a guessing game. Just like symptom spotting is all a game. Which is why I’m trying really hard not to play. This time, at least.

But I reserve the right to give in to the temptation at any given moment.

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14 thoughts on “I have a problem.

  1. I moved from the coast to the desert several months ago. It is much drier and much hotter here, and, as a result, I’ve been waking up with my mouth wide open and super dry. My charts have been a bit of a mess, as well. As a result, I’ve stopped temping during my LP for this cycle, and I think I’m moving to vaginal temps next cycle. I even bought a new thermometer for the, uhem, new method. I hope this smooths out the fluctuations and eases the stress!

    Hopefully this is your month!

    • I’ve heard that vaginal temps (or even rectal if you want to be really brave) are the way to go if you want the most accurate temps, so I hope this helps you to figure everything out. I’ve been considering making the switch too, because I feel like there are just too many factors that can alter an oral temp. Good luck with it!

  2. Oh lawdy.. that hope is a tricky, tricky beast.

    You absolutely have the right to give into her and test any time you damn well please because it is most definitely possible that this could be THE cycle. 😉

  3. I’ve never had an implantation dip with any of my pregnancies, so don’t let not having one steal your hope, even if you had them with your first two pregnancies. I remember the heart pounding that came with temperature charting in the luteal phase–analyzing everything! This last time trying to conceive, I did not chart at all. I simply watched for egg white and then for the change in cervical mucous that comes after ovulation. On the one hand, my OCD self kind of missed the temperture information, but on the other hand, it was so much easier emotionally not to check my temps.

  4. I have never been able to get the charting thing down. First of all, I’m not a morning person so the whole idea of it sounds like torture. Second, I can’t turn the light on to actually read the thermometer that early in the morning because I’ll wake my hubby. I am fascinated to know someone in IF Land knows how to chart their temp. That’s quite an accomplishment in my book.

  5. I’ve never charted my temps, and I think this is why. I’m a bit prone to obsession anyway, and I think that would just push me right over the edge. But you go ahead and analyze away! I hope you start to see a familiar pattern soon!

  6. I am hardcore addicted to temping. I even use two different thermometers in case the digital one has gone wonky on me. Completely understand!

  7. I am chart-obsessed too. I actually look forward to entering the data into the chart and reading the updated interpretations, and it’s the first thing I do almost every day. The best is when FF adds the red crosshairs. Oh yes!!

    Fingers crossed that this is the last cycle you have to temp for a while … like nine months of a while!

  8. I have totally been there with the addiction to charting. it gives you some control! or at least makes you feel like it. Good luck on this next cycle!!! xoxo

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