Doctor Appointment

Well, it was not a fun weekend. I spent it crampy, cranky, and crying over everything. But I allowed myself to nurse my wounds with a few indulgences which I rarely get to enjoy — soda, coffee, doughnuts, bagels, chocolate, old episodes of Dawson’s Creek, and some retail therapy — and that did help as much as it could.

Today, I met with my OB. We’ll call him Dr. Smiles since that’s always the first thing I see when he walks into the room. A smile. I had scheduled this appointment before I ever got my period so that I could renew my Clomid prescription, but the opportunity allowed me to ask a LOT of questions. Thanks to everyone for the suggestions, guidance, tips, and encouragement that enabled me to ask what I needed to.

Here’s what we discussed today:

  • Clomid: We’ll be sticking with 100mg for now as it worked well last month. Dr. S reminded me that I can’t expect to get pregnant on the first ovulation every time. He doesn’t do any sort of monitoring and advised, if that is something I am attached to (I’m not), then I’d need to see an RE.
  • Femara: My doc has no experience with this and thinks it’s wise to stick with Clomid for now as we know that has worked in the past. However, if Clomid fails or causes problems in the future, he’d be willing to look into this to see if it might be an option for me.
  • Supplemental Progesterone: Dr. Smiles does not prescribe vaginal progesterone suppositories to be used after ovulation. If this is something I want, I’ll have to see an RE. However, once I get a positive pregnancy test, I can then request them and he will gladly write me a prescription. This is perhaps the answer I was most disappointed in, simply because I’m concerned about my rather short cycle this month and would like to have one less thing to worry about. My doc doesn’t think my short cycle is cause for concern as it’s only happened once that we know of and, in the past, my luteal phase has been long enough to allow for implantation of two pregnancies. I will, however, follow everyone’s advice by adding B and D vitamins to the mix and cross my fingers that will be enough to get me through to a BFP.
  • Ovarian cyst: This was a new development over the weekend, something that caused me a fair amount of discomfort on Saturday and Sunday. I’ve had them before while using Clomid (including during the cycle that gave me my last pregnancy), so I knew what it was. It has since gotten better and the doc doesn’t see any reason to worry, unless it swells up again. It should not prevent me from getting pregnant this cycle (which I do believe, because of my last cyst and the ovulation and pregnancy that still resulted three weeks later).
  • My short period: I was concerned because my period only lasted 3-4 days this cycle (normal for me is 5-7), though one day was very heavy. Dr. S thinks this isn’t a problem and is no indication of the thickness of my endometrial lining.
  • More lab tests: While Dr. Smiles does not think I need a “re-do,” he agreed anyways to order my lab tests to be redone so that we can really know if I fall into the PCOS category, at least hormonally. Past tests have been completely normal but were taken on the wrong day of my cycle. I want a definitive answer for peace of mind, so that I can give it all a rest. With that being said, today I had my blood drawn to check for the following levels: LH, FSH, prolactin, testosterone, DHEAS, estrogen, iron, and TSH. Results should be in by the end of the week. He also ordered a P4 test to check my progesterone level after my next ovulation.
  • When to see an RE: This really deserves a post of its own, because I already have my own opinion and plan for when this will occur if it comes to that. But Dr. Smiles’ rec is to give Clomid another three to four months as that’s working for us right now. In fact, he said he has every confidence that it will happen for us again. I know that he really cannot make such a guarantee, but it’s nice to hear that we are not the only ones with hope.

So while it was not a perfectly satisfying appointment that gave me everything I wanted (ahem, a prescription for those vaginal suppositories), it did give me a few other things — answers, new hope, reassurance, and peace of mind — and I guess that is enough for one day.

And now, having met with my doctor, I think I am ready to move on. To let go of theย  disappointment of a cycle that held so much promise, and to start again. I’m still feeling fairly melancholy on a day-to-day basis, but as Tami recently suggested in one of her comments, it helps to start looking forward, instead of dwelling on what could have been. I’m already on my second day of Clomid. I’m adding extra vitamin D and B vitamins to my long regimen. And I’m still praying. Hard. But also trying to release any expectations. I don’t know what this cycle will hold. I don’t know if I’ll ovulate, or if I’ll conceive if I do. But I do know that if I don’t, there is always next month. I still have plenty of options. My next chance could be right around the corner.


13 thoughts on “Doctor Appointment

  1. Wishing you the best of luck as you move forward! I have no experience with Clomid, so I can’t weigh in on that, but my RE highly recommends Femara, if you do end up going that route. And my RE seems like a pretty smart dude. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. This was a perfect day to have an appointment with your Dr. You had a lot of questions and you needed answers. I’m glad you are already looking forward.

  3. I tried to find your email address, but I don’t think it’s listed on your site. Can you email me (my addy is on my blog) with your address? There are a few things I wanted to mention, but didn’t want to leave in the comments.

  4. So glad that you are ready to move on. Just be very careful with Clomid and ovarian cysts. I may just be paranoid because of my awful experience but I want you to be safe and healthy. I will not go on because I don’t want to rain on your parade but e-mail me if you want any more info. Stay strong love! It will happen!

    • I appreciate that, Trisha. Believe me, your experience was at the forefront of my mind this weekend as I was dealing with the discomfort. I took it very easy, even skipping my daily treadmill workout, because I didn’t want to risk any sort of torsion. It’s feeling much better now, but if I ever have another one, I may be coming to you with questions if you don’t mind. Thanks so much for your concern!

  5. I am so glad that you now have a plan of action. I give you a ton of credit for being so proactive. I wish I had been more proactive when I went in to talk to my RE for the first time. I guess I just didn’t know enough of the right kinds of questions to ask and I asked a bunch of dumb ones. I hope that your new plan continues to make you feel more optimistic about things and know that I am also praying for you!!

  6. So glad you got a lot of your questions answered. I think a huge part of making this craptastic journey a little more bearable is feeling like you’re being taken care of by your doctors. I’m happy you seem to have that experience with yours.

  7. I’m so sorry to hear about your BFN. It stings every times. I will echo Trisha’s concern about the Clomid and the cysts. It seems as Femara is a better option when Clomid produces or exacerbates the presence of cycsts! No bueno! Lastly, I love your indulgent food weekend. We all need one to sustain us through these cycles.

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