ICLW and My Necklace

I’m tired of talking about my sister. Tired of letting her monopolize my blog. Surely, there will be days ahead (probably in the near future), where I will need to come here to complain about her once more, but right now we seem to be back on track and so let’s talk about other things…

If you’re here for ICLW, welcome and thanks for stopping by! I’m currently halfway through my two-week wait and am starting to feel anxious and get impatient. I do have one child already (who will be TWO in exactly three months! gasp!) and we lost a baby in April, which has completely wrecked me. This cycle, with the first opportunity to finally create another life, is the first time I have felt my hope soar in quite a while. It feels so good, and so terrifying, at the same time.  To know my full story, you can read part 1 and part 2, or you can get it in a nutshell.

For those of you who have been with me for a while, you may remember that my husband tried but ultimately failed in getting me what I wanted the most (besides a baby, that is) for my birthday. Well, we went online to order exactly what I did want and it recently came in the mail:

It’s simple, but that’s perfect as I plan to wear it every day and it won’t get in the way or clash with much.  On the left is my daughter’s November birthstone.  On the right, is the birthstone for The Baby Who Almost Was, had he been born around his due date this coming December. Now, I can carry my two babies around with me wherever I go and that feels pretty good.  Even though, of course, I have always carried them in my heart (SO cheesy to say it, but I just couldn’t resist…and it’s true!).

For a moment, as I have tried it on in all sorts of light and turned this way and that in the mirror to examine it from every angle, this necklace has served as a welcome distraction from more pressing matters…like Am I pregnant? Am I? Am I? Am I?  But alas, I cannot really get my head to go anywhere else for more than a few minutes. I’m obsessing. Like, seriously. Like, a-preteen-girl-in-love-with-Bieber sort of obsessing. In my next post, I’ll let you obsess with me. Together, we can analyze the life out of every possible “symptom” I may or may not be having.

Please refrain from rolling your eyes.

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19 thoughts on “ICLW and My Necklace

  1. I love your necklace! I wear one with two butterflies and a heart to symbolize the babies I have lost. It brings me great comfort. Like you said they are always in your heart but there really is something nice about being able to touch a charm when you are thinking of them.

  2. Your necklace is beautiful- as were your babes. I think that no matter what necklace your husband got you, you wouldn’t have been happy with it. The process of picking out exactly what you want is an important one. You are able to look at everything and make sure it is perfect. No one else can do that for you. Having just gone through this myself, I feel confident saying that this is the perfect symbol for you to hold tight to.

  3. Your necklace is perfect! I’m so glad you were finally able to get exactly what you want. I feel the same way, with wanting to carry them around with me at all times. I hope your necklace brings you some comfort.

    • I ordered it through Zales.com. I actually had to order two necklaces, one with each birthstone, and then combine them onto one chain. It got to be a little expensive doing it that way, but it made me happy and I figured that was worth something!

  4. The necklace is such a beautiful reminder of the two precious little lives you created and love so much! I hope you get to add a third stone to it within the next 9 months!

  5. Beautiful! I’m so glad you were able to order the necklace you had envisioned as an outward symbol of your two babies. And I hope you and your hubby were able to make amends. : )

  6. Hi. Here from ICLW. I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m in love with your necklace. What a great symbolic reminder. Whishing you all the best. FX that this tww will end with a positive outcome. Good luck!

  7. Hello from ICLW (again 😉 )…From one who’s experienced loss and a BFN on top of that….my heart goes out to you…. My thoughts an prayers will be with you during your upcoming cycle….

    LOVE the necklace! What a great idea & conversation piece. I went in a completely different direction and chose a tattoo of my son’s footprints on the inner part of my wrist…..

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