I’m so confused.
Five days ago, I took my last progesterone pill. I have been waiting for my period to arrive ever since. And today it did. Maybe.
I’m spotting. I guess for some women that’s normal for a period to start like that. Not for me. My period always starts like a wildfire and simmers to a campfire three, four, or five days later. It starts quickly, forcefully. It starts painfully, with a blood bath. Gross, but true. And so this slow start has me concerned for two reasons:
- I don’t know if I’m to consider this cycle day 1 or not. I think technically it is, but maybe it’s not until my period starts in earnest? Normally (for a normal, reproductively-healthy woman), it wouldn’t really matter much, but I need to know so I can know when to start my Clomid.
- And then I worry, what if this is it? What if this is the heaviest my period will be this time? And what does that say for my reproductive health and the thickness of my endometrial lining?
I’m probably worked up over this for no reason. Tomorrow, it will be a blazing forest fire “down there” and I’ll breathe a sigh of relief…while popping lots of ibuprofen! And I’ll call the nurse and she’ll advise me when to start the Clomid and it will be no big deal. But right now, I’m just overwhelmed and scared and sad that, of all things, it’s my period I have to worry about.
And then there’s a completely separate issue…
After some careful thought, I decided to ask my OB/GYN for a prescription for Metformin. I talked to him today and he agreed…he’s great like that. Always willing to comply. But now I can’t decide if I actually want to take it. I consulted Dr. Google for the possible side effects and they worry me. Diarrhea? Vomiting? It makes me ill just thinking about it. But I’ll be honest…the thing that is making me question this the most is that all of those gastrointestinal problems can be exacerbated by fatty and sugary foods. And while I try to eat healthy, I don’t always succeed. I do have a sweet tooth as wide and deep as the Pacific and as ongoing as the Energizer bunny. Really. And I have a road trip and my birthday just around the corner — I don’t much want to feel sick when I decide to indulge in something yummy. Especially when I don’t even know if I need Metformin, considering I’m not insulin resistant and I’ve never been diagnosed with PCOS.
So what do I do? Do I take the Metformin? Do I not? Do I wait until my life has slowed down a little bit (in mid-August)? But then will it be too late to have any effect on this cycle? Should I just wait until next cycle? Should I start taking it, maybe, if I conceive this time to help with the miscarriage risk, or will it be too late by then too? Should I just not even bother, given that we don’t know if I need it?
These are all the things going through my head right now. But to those of you who read this and have tried Metformin, will you, please, please be so kind as to tell me about your experience with this drug? How long did it take before it started working for you? Or did it not? Did you suffer any of those side effects I dread? How long until they went away? Was it all worth it for you??? I know none of you can make this decision for me, but I desperately need input.
Sigh. I hate feeling like things are out of my control, but sometimes I do think it’s easier. Because I’m, like, the most indecisive person ever. And when I do have control over something (like whether or not to take Metformin)…how do I ever decide what the right answer is, for me?