That’s what I kept saying as I was going through all of this over the last six weeks. I want my mommy! And when she walked off the plane yesterday, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Finally, someone is here to take care of me.
You have to understand the type of mama she is. Think Gilmore Girls. That’s us! She’s my mom when I need one and my friend when I need one. And now that I’m a mom myself, she’s also my mentor when I need one, and I welcome that. And best of all, when she’s in town, I get a break. I play with my daughter and maybe do some baking/cooking, but I don’t have to do laundry, dishes, bath, bedtime, or any other mommy duties. I get a 98% reprieve.
Alas, at least for the weekend, I can stop being strong. I can take care of me, instead of caring for everyone else. I can focus on healing and less on hurting. I can stay in bed all day if I need to so that I can mourn and grieve. But I don’t think it will come to that. A month ago, yes. There was nothing I wanted more than to crawl under the covers and hide from the world. But now, I think I can face it. The pain isn’t gone, but it’s becoming bearable.
And I have fun things planned for the weekend! Pedicures, date night, a day trip into the city, lots of good food. For the first time in six weeks, I have something to look forward to. It feels good. For these few days at least, I just want to forget what is behind me, and especially all the uncertainty that lays ahead.